Making Your First Honey-do List for the Groom

You have just gotten engaged and you are looking forward to spending the rest of your life with your future husband. Naturally, as with any wedding, there is a lot to plan. There are people to call, decorations to buy, and invitations to order, stuff, and send out. Long story short there is a lot to be done. Why not start with a divide and conquer attitude?

When my wife and I got married I felt like a deer in the headlights when it came to planning the wedding. I know… Typical groom. I knew that she needed to get a dress and that I needed a suit. Sure, I knew that there were other things that were going to be done, I just had no clue how much. I do not feel as though I was unique. Women spend their whole lives dreaming and planning their weddings. Men spend their whole lives dreaming and planning how they are going to win over the girl of their dreams. We know that you have a dream wedding and sometimes that can make us feel like we aren’t really needed in the planning department. So, this brings me to the title of this blog post: Making your first Honey-do list for the groom.

There are a two main reasons grooms are resistant to help. First, they think that since you have been planning this wedding since you were 5 years old you have it all figured out. Second, they are afraid to help because they don’t want to mess anything up.
If the groom thinks you have it all planned out and you need help, just ask him for help. There are some things that the typical groom isn’t going to care about. Most of these things are going to be things that need a decision. For instance, if you ask him what colors he want, more than likely he hasn’t really thought about it. He probably doesn’t have a whole lot of preference about what kind of flowers you will have or what shape and flavor the cake is. It might be better to go to him with a list of things that he can do that maybe you don’t have a strong opinion about. Some of the things that would be easy to pass off to the groom might be:

• Picking up, stamping, stuffing, and sending out invitations
• Helping to find a venue
• Finding a photographer
• Making a list of invites
• Planning the honeymoon

Doing it this way will also let him know what decisions you would like him to help with. Grooms really do want to help, they just also want this to be the day you have dreamed about. Help the groom to know that you need his help on the things that you do not have a strong opinion about. This will help him to feel more included and important.
The last piece of advice I have is to ask him if he has a preference about things that you think he may not. I have a friend who was scared to death to tell his fiancé that he didn’t like the tie she had picked out for him. Make sure he feels comfortable talking to you about these things.
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Good luck planning your wedding!
Let me know in the comments any other ways to include the groom in planning!